Category Workout

You’re Going to Want to Read This One…

I’ve waited so long to be able to say this. I’ve worked incredibly hard every day. This last month has been one of the hardest I’ve ever had. I’ve had to watch while family and friends devoured food that I hadn’t ever realized I had taken for granted. I have faced some of the strongest […]

Foodlessness: Day 1

WARNING: This post features lots of math and stats which any normal human being would find incredibly dense. What you are about to read skim has been written primarily for my own benefit. So… deal with it. Day one of diet shakes. The lack of physical stamina and slight increase in irritability have sucked the […]

Making Permanent Change

Shortly after my last post, my mother took me to a weight loss clinic where I was evaluated by a team of experts trained to withstand the gag reflex brought about by being in the presence of a topless fatass such as myself. I found out that while I am overall pretty healthy, my overall […]

The Summer of Michael!!!

Listen up people! I’m gonna be straight with you. I went to college and have around 40 more pounds of “me” to show for it. Here’s the facts… My degree is officially “Molecular and Cellular Biology” with an emphasis in Infectious Disease & Immunity as well as Microbiology. I get very little sleep. My GPA is […]

What Your Personal Trainer’s Really Thinking…

On the eighth day, Satan put athletic trainers on this Earth to silently torment the obese with their perfect forms. Here are my predictions as to what goes through these chiseled-chested demons minds as they watch us suffer through the countless exercises they prescribe for us. Squats “Oh my God, if he farts now I win the pool!” “Your […]

Gym Freaks

I’m not writing this post as if I go to the gym all the time. No, I go like once in a blue moon. Like maybe once every president, do I go to the gym. Maybe like every time a new pope is elected do I go to the gym. But every time I go […]

The State of the Sag- August 2012

Let me just preface this by saying, nobody cringe at the self-depreciating humor. It’s the only way I keep my ego in check. Now, I’ve been trying out a few new ways to lose weight and for the most part it’s been working. Unfortunately it looks like it’s too little too late. I recently went […]

Limited Involvement Sports

Being a good 50 pounds out of shape, I know what it’s like to be last-picked, or at the back of the pack in any race. But over time, there are a few sports that have popped out to me as being what I like to call limited involvement sports. These are sports where players […]