Category Diet

Can a Coffee a Day Keep the Doctor Away?

Coffee… We drink it. We love it. Many of us are slaves to it. But can a cup of Joe help prevent some of the most common illnesses. A literature review published in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition concluded that the general scientific consensus is that while coffee consumption is associated with a short-term decrease […]

Should We Accept Fat Acceptance?

Is it okay to be fat? The Fat Acceptance movement seems to think so. The movement essentially promotes accepting a larger body size and not having to conform to the high beauty standards of a vain society. Seems innocent enough, right? And let me just say- for the most part, I agree. If you’re big, […]

You’re Going to Want to Read This One…

I’ve waited so long to be able to say this. I’ve worked incredibly hard every day. This last month has been one of the hardest I’ve ever had. I’ve had to watch while family and friends devoured food that I hadn’t ever realized I had taken for granted. I have faced some of the strongest […]

Foodlessness: Day 1

WARNING: This post features lots of math and stats which any normal human being would find incredibly dense. What you are about to read skim has been written primarily for my own benefit. So… deal with it. Day one of diet shakes. The lack of physical stamina and slight increase in irritability have sucked the […]

Making Permanent Change

Shortly after my last post, my mother took me to a weight loss clinic where I was evaluated by a team of experts trained to withstand the gag reflex brought about by being in the presence of a topless fatass such as myself. I found out that while I am overall pretty healthy, my overall […]

The Summer of Michael!!!

Listen up people! I’m gonna be straight with you. I went to college and have around 40 more pounds of “me” to show for it. Here’s the facts… My degree is officially “Molecular and Cellular Biology” with an emphasis in Infectious Disease & Immunity as well as Microbiology. I get very little sleep. My GPA is […]

What Your Personal Trainer’s Really Thinking…

On the eighth day, Satan put athletic trainers on this Earth to silently torment the obese with their perfect forms. Here are my predictions as to what goes through these chiseled-chested demons minds as they watch us suffer through the countless exercises they prescribe for us. Squats “Oh my God, if he farts now I win the pool!” “Your […]

Hipsters and Food: A Deadly Combination

When I see a man or a woman- actually scratch that, when I see a woman taking pictures of her food, it takes all the self-restraint I can muster not to smash her face in the meal and Instagram a photo of it. Hipsters and food are a match made in hell and the fruits […]

Sandwiches, a Love Story. Also Drinks

When I bury my meaty jowls into the warm embrace of a well-constructed sandwich, I’m taken to a special place in my mind. A safe place free of worry, trouble, or strife. A happy place. Have you ever eaten something and thought “wow, I could eat this every day for the rest of my life and […]

I’m a World Record Holder! (and the Freshman 15)

You didn’t read the title wrong, I’M SECRETLY A WOMAN!!! Wrong title? Well if you thought I’m a world record holder than you guessed right! On August 24th, 2012, I joined roughly 7000 people in breaking the world record for corn husking at our college orientation; a feat that was magical only in the sense […]