So here’s the deal. I pulled a Jonah Hill (and not in a good way). This time last year I was hovering around 240. I had lost about 70 pounds and was feeling pretty proud of myself. But I learned that there’s a difference between losing weight fast and losing weight the right way. It’s surprisingly easy to lose weight when the only thing you’re allowed to eat is a protein shake. It’s so simple. What has proven to be infinitely harder has been eating in moderation- you know, like humans do. Almost every time you encounter food, you feel like you’e holding the keys to the gates of paradise. You can eat and eat and eat until you feel sick and hate yourself and eat some more to make the pain go away (a favorite hobby of mine). But the sick and twisted truth of the matter is you can’t. You are expected to convince yourself that the pain and the stress and the depression will work themselves out and that you should not grant yourself a coveted moment of release even when every muscle in your body and every thought pounding around in your head tells you to.
See where it gets tricky?
So what do I do? I wish this was a blog overflowing with tips and tricks on how to lose weight safely and keep it off. But I genuinely don’t know. They say to meditate but it’s hard to clear your mind when you’re fighting the impulse to propel yourself into the nearest carbohydrate like a dog with an almost finished jar of peanut butter. They say to carefully consider each bite which is damn near impossible when all you can think about is the next. So what do I do?
Let’s find out.