Monthly Archives: January 2013

What Your Personal Trainer’s Really Thinking…

On the eighth day, Satan put athletic trainers on this Earth to silently torment the obese with their perfect forms. Here are my predictions as to what goes through these chiseled-chested demons minds as they watch us suffer through the countless exercises they prescribe for us. Squats “Oh my God, if he farts now I win the pool!” “Your […]

Coffee: A Field Guide

Do you ever find yourself at a McDonald’s, Starbucks, Caribou, or other coffeemonger and find yourself asking “what’s the difference between a latte and a cappuccino?” Well, to be honest very, very little. It seems as though the general rule of thumb is the more exotic it sounds, the more they’ll charge you for it. […]

Hipsters and Food: A Deadly Combination

When I see a man or a woman- actually scratch that, when I see a woman taking pictures of her food, it takes all the self-restraint I can muster not to smash her face in the meal and Instagram a photo of it. Hipsters and food are a match made in hell and the fruits […]

Tangent: You’re Not Fedorable

Alright, look. This has nothing to do with my site. No food here and most certainly no fitness. Fedoras may just be as big of an indicator of a person’s character as jean shorts. For example. If you own and publicly wear a pair of jean shorts, you are almost certainly one of the following. A seasoned […]

Sandwiches, a Love Story. Also Drinks

When I bury my meaty jowls into the warm embrace of a well-constructed sandwich, I’m taken to a special place in my mind. A safe place free of worry, trouble, or strife. A happy place. Have you ever eaten something and thought “wow, I could eat this every day for the rest of my life and […]

2012 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog. Here’s an excerpt: 600 people reached the top of Mt. Everest in 2012. This blog got about 1,900 views in 2012. If every person who reached the top of Mt. Everest viewed this blog, it would have taken 3 years to get […]